┬ęColm Gallagher

Chorus:
Oh ho, oh ho
If I was a dog I'd have me day
Oh ho, oh ho
Wouldn't I be waggin' me tail?

If I was a dog I'd wag me tail
I sit me down beside the fire
Girls could pat me on the head
Or any place else their heart desired
Wouldn't go chasin' after cats
Wouldn't go howlin' at the moon
Couldn't be bothered with things like that
If I was a dog, what I'd be doin'!

(Repeat Chorus)

I wouldn't be on for herding sheep
I wouldn't be on for hunting hares
I'd prefer to be home and asleep
Or digging a hole to God knows where
Wouldn't be on for pullin' a sled
Like huskies up in the Yukon do
I'd prefer to be home in me bed
With a pekinese, poodle, or Kerry blue!

(Repeat Chorus)

And a woe be tied to the man who tried
To spay the wife or neuter me
Before I'd let him away with that
By gosh, I'd show me pedigree
I'd put up a heck of a fight
Wouldn't it be a sight to see
One strategic nip,
The neuteror becoming the neuteree!

(Repeat Chorus)

And sooner or later I'd father a litter
And teach the little ones how to be
If anyone tried to get smart, by guff
I'd chase the lot of them up a tree
Now if you're walkin' down the street
And an elegant pup you happen to see
Steppin' it out, give us a shout
You could be you, and that could be me

(Repeat Chorus)